Wait. What?

My eyebrows are two different shapes, lengths, and they even sit at different elevation. I realized this a few months ago when I started to work on healing my skin.

I looked into the mirror one day and had one of those “…wait. What?” moments that come in groups and can quickly turn into a plague of awareness.

How did this happen? How are my eyebrows so totally different?

Let’s explore this fascinating topic, shall we?


A corner of my left eyebrow has been white since birth. So there is an optical illusion to battle.

Ding Dang Lauren Bacall

When I was 9-years old, I picked up Lauren Bacall’s autobiography at a yard sale and read the first couple of chapters while eating chocolate covered espresso beans and trying to be my best adult self. I also picked up Ms. Bacall’s raised eyebrow and the way I smoked cigarettes. My right eyebrow now shoots up whenever it wants to. My left eyebrow: A dormant wimp.

I was misinformed

Back in the day of print magazines for teens, the eyebrow plucking advice was pluck in line with the exterior of your nose. Great idea unless you don’t have a narrow anglo nose. If you have a wide, Chinese-inspired nose, don’t pluck that far. Oh the rue.

So things went awry early and kept going awry well into the pluck to baldness oeuvre of the 1990’s. So now what? Be okay with being middle-aged with over plucked eyebrows?

I’m not ok.

It’s time to see a professional.